California Dream + Panic #25

Dear readers,

I know it’s been a while since I last wrote, and I can easily blame it on being “busy,” but it was a lack of effort to keep up with these weekly blogs. I won’t make any promises, but at least I’m back with you all for another step into my life! The majority of you will not know that I’ve relocated to California all the way from Virginia – yes, coast to coast. Fun fact, I had a cross-country road trip with my best friend to get here, but I won’t spoil that just yet; stick around next week, and I’ll share my travel stories!

As you know, the mid-twenties portion of your life is full of unknowns! This is why I want to share how exciting and frightening it is to move across the country and be so far away from friends and family. We all often have a dream or romanticization of our lives when moving away from family and being independent, but what does it really mean? Well – a lot of uncomfortable and anxiety-ridden moments.

The Dream

Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for my education and family’s opportunity. My professional career has been growing in responsibilities so coming to the office in person allows me to advance and learn much quicker versus being remote! Besides, it’s only been two weeks in California, and I already know that I will love it. I’ve already gone to two beaches, a couple of restaurants, Disneyland, and my office, so it’s hard to believe how quickly things are already moving! Seeing all these new places along the way is something every immigrant parent wants for their children and more!

Disneyland Starwars!

Away From A Safe Zone

All throughout my life, I have been grateful and blessed to have most of my family members around. The most stressful and complicated portion was figuring out where to apply for college. Even during college, it wasn’t as complex because of the provided structure. Now? Oh, man. I thought moving was fun and exciting, but figuring out insurance, paperwork at the DMV, and whether I’m going to get fined for something I didn’t know all while moving is a lot!

My best friend was with me, but the emotional burden I placed on her was heavier than I thought. Since moving, I have felt another level of loneliness or separation, so much so that I cried every other day for the first week while being here. This was a separation from all things I felt safe and loved from, and for the second time in my life, I didn’t know what to do next. This wave crashed into me, and I wasn’t prepared. I know we are never fully prepared, but you really don’t think about the hurt until it’s there. Thankfully, my friends and family have emotionally supported me on this journey, and I can’t thank them enough.

A conversation I had with a dear friend led to this, “Of course, I’ll always be here. Just like how life changes, and we adapt, so do our bonds.” I verbally shared how much they mean to me, which surprised them because I usually don’t express my feelings. Now, I’m taking on 2022, letting the people around me know how important they are to me, even if I’m ugly crying while doing it!

Health

A question I ask myself is, will I stay in California long-term? The answer is no. I have a healthy relationship with money and strict budgeting, but the forecast doesn’t look bright if I remain here too long. Looking at things realistically, I want to plan for a family, but living in California is extremely expensive, making it almost impossible to save even with budgeting.

Beyond that, it takes a village to raise children. I want my children to have a strong relationship with my parents and a family network close by. There’s a unique bond between grandchildren and grandparents. My grandparents offered me a different type of compassion than when they raised my parents, which I’m sure made them envy me somehow. I know my children will learn more about my parents’ history than I ever will, and I want that for them that’s why I won’t remain in California long-term.

Apart from financial health, I’m tightening the reigns on my physical health! I worked out consistently before, but now I’m changing my workout regimen to focus on calisthenics or moving my body better.

Looking Forward

Ultimately, I give myself about two to three years in California before making my way back to the East Coast, but that’s dependent on my career or potential future partner. I’m giving myself a timeline and being flexible because of life. We don’t know what’s around the corner; a new opportunity or a personal discovery that changes everything to your plan. I pray my time here in California is well spent, and I create genuine bonds that will last me a lifetime! Well, that’s all I have for your today minhions; stick around next week where I’ll share about my road trip!

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