Why Being a Loser is Good #28

Dear readers, 

I told you I couldn’t keep a promise of writing every Saturday! I’m trying my best to continue this schedule because this is my free therapy session, whether someone can relate with me or not. It’s just without the feedback of a professional, and though, at times, I want some feedback to understand that what I’m feeling is normal. 

Do you ever get the sense that you just don’t belong, and somehow you have to find the motivation to continue moving, hoping that it’ll make sense one day? Yeah, that’s where I’m at, even though where I am is good enough. However, that’s beside the point; I wanted to continue with the series I started a while back by asking yourself questions to know yourself better! 

Today’s question is, Are You A Good Loser?

Let’s first talk about the title, Why Being a Loser is Good! Now, I know the title and the question are slightly different, but hear me out before you click the like button below, ha. Instead of thinking of loser in the negative connotation of life or the famous song by TLC No Scrubs, let’s think about being a loser in a singular moment. You lost the competition, failed the interview, lost a big contract, and the list goes on. After that moment, are you a good loser? Do you reflect on the situation and ask yourself why you failed? Can you teach yourself how not to be a loser by losing? I know the feeling of frustration when messing up. It doesn’t help that it comes with many negative thoughts about every aspect of your life.

Back to the question, Are You A Good Loser?

It brings me back to a gift I received from my manager! It was a simple paperweight with an inscription on it, “what would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?” Man, what a loaded note. I’m sure you had multiple thoughts when you read that, and I’m not here to tell you your dreams are there for the taking, or it’s easy. On the contrary, everything we want is a challenge, and I know that for sure. I don’t want to stay up until 1 AM working, study on Saturday mornings, exercise three days out of the week, stay up-to-date on current events, meal prep, etc., but what are accomplishments without a struggle?

Nowadays, most people want to chase their passions, but what is passion without a means to live? I came across this soundbite surfing through social media, “screw passion, passion can wait until the hustle is over.” I’m not saying it’s not essential to chase after your interests, but not many can afford it. So, what will you do when you lose in a situation that sidetracks you from your desired path? Can you take the loss like a good loser and learn from it? Will you be able to try it again, now knowing the things that could prevent you from failing? I can’t say I reflect on every failure because I’m human, but losing is all a part of the process. Do you think I have passions that could be one day also be my career? HECK NO, but I know that every loss in my professional or personal life hones in on what I could do in the future. From there, it’s up to me to choose.

I’ve come to understand people of different walks of life, and it really boils down to experience, preparation, and timing, but winning small battles can still be satisfying, too. Can we all be Bill Gates or Jeff Bezos? No, then why must we feel an unyielding urge to do everything right the first time. That’s why being a loser is good because of the humility and understanding of one’s position in the grand scheme of their goals. I relate to this question a lot because, over time, I learned to accept mistakes and losses – mind you, with a lot of anxiety. I’m learning to be my own advocate in my professional and personal life from losing a lot. Still, it’s shaping me in more ways than I can imagine!

Ask yourself, and let me know in the comments or email me! I’d love to talk with people who can relate to my position right now!

My First Lunar Year Festival in Orange County #27

Dear readers,

I bet you are surprised this is the third week I’m writing in a row – how shocking! I’m beginning to feel more settled into my new home and getting a little less homesick. Undoubtedly, I will get homesick soon, but weekly conversations with my parents and making sure they are healthy are enough for now. It really does help to be in a healthy routine of working out, sleeping, and work though it’s not glamorous. Unlike my not-so-glamorous weekdays, my weekends have excellent food and time with friends!

I went to my first large-scale lunar near year festival in Orange County on Saturday, February 5th, and was taken back by the amount of Asian Americans. You see, growing up in Virginia, we had a relatively large Asian population an hour away from my hometown, and I’ve been going there my whole life. However, the festival had triple or quadruple that amount. For the first time in my life, I can live and enjoy the Vietnamese culture that wasn’t offered living in my suburban Virginian town. Needless to say, I was both happy and shocked.

Not sure about the song! I wish I could translate it for you all, but I can’t!

Let’s Talk About Food!

First up, takoyaki; Hands down one of my favorites. If you didn’t know, takoyaki is a Japanese snack of savory ball-shaped bites containing chopped octopus typically made with wheat batter topped with bonito flakes. I would describe their texture as similar to mashed potato balls with fillings – obsessed. I mean, look at the picture below!

My last meal at the festival was a garlic butter prawns plate. They weren’t kidding when they mentioned butter because I felt my arteries close up a little more as I was eating it! The seafood here in Orange County can make any person jealous, and the prawns were big and juicy that it was satisfying to chop on. Still, overall, the flavor profile was blander than it looked.

I wanted to share a little history about the dragon dance for Lunar New Year. I just did a quick search, so you didn’t have to! The dragon dance originated in China during the Han Dynasty (180-230AD) as a part of farming culture. The dance symbolizes good luck and prosperity in the year to come for all. The dragon itself represents supernatural power, goodness, fertility, vigilance, and dignity!

Dragon Dance.

Ironically, my friend noticed a streamer he follows recording the festival live. He messaged her on the stream, asking if it was okay to come up and say hi because, you know, it’s all about consent! Anyhow, we walked up; he started chatting, but I felt awkward, so I distanced myself from them. The streamer, Winnie Chang (Instagram: Winnieechang), included me in the stream awkwardly waving in the background. So, Winnie, if you by chance ever come across this blog, I’m a shy person, and you seem like an amazing person to know!

After my awkward appearance, my friends and I decided to leave and ended my first lunar near year festival. I wanted to explore more of my Vietnamese culture all my life, and thankful that I now have that opportunity to be near the largest Vietnamese population in the U.S.! Well, that’s all I have for you this week – it’s a little more fun article than my usual thoughts!

Will I continue writing next week? Stay tuned to find out!

My Roadtrip to California #26

Dear readers,

I hope you all were able to get some rest, as I did! It has been a good morning so far with a light workout, food, and sipping on some hot coffee, preparing how to tell you about my road trip! To re-iterate, I traveled through eight states and made five significant stops along the way with my amazing best friend!

Looking back, I wished I had more time to savor the stops along the way, but I had a total of nine days to travel and used up six to get from Virginia to California! It was a surreal moment because we’ve all fantasized about having that “this is a new chapter in my life,” and not everyone has the opportunity to do something like this! While planning this trip, I only thought about the locations, not where I’d sleep, which in any circumstance, is not a good idea! My friend and I envisioned that we would make pit stops wherever we felt tired; in reality, we booked an Airbnb or hotel on the same day of arrival at or near one of the significant stops. My best friend and I are chaotic individuals who live on the edge, so I don’t recommend this whatsoever, but it could lead to some funny stories to tell in the future. So to continue with today’s blog, our first stop was Nashville, Tennesee!

Nashville, Tennessee 

What a party city! It was a Saturday night in downtown Nashville; a concert was happening, and the strip was booming with people. We had an urge to party with everyone else, but it’s a no-go when we think about the long drives ahead. I’m not in the peak recovery stage like I was in college! However, I could totally see myself revisiting Nashville to party with friends, but other than that, I’m not sure what else to enjoy there. To my Nashville natives, I’m sorry if I had offended you, but let me know the local spots to go!

For dinner, we went to the Assembly Food Hall! It was a cafeteria-style with lots of different options, and they even had currywurst. For those who don’t know, currywurst is a German fast food dish consisting of fried and sliced pork sausage with fries, which happened to be one of my favorites when I studied abroad. The hall had an open stage area where live country music was being performed, and of course, I jammed in my seat and enjoyed the food. I mentioned that we didn’t party with the people earlier, so we simply went back to the hotel and rested after dinner.

Dallas, Texas

Dallas was my least favorite stop because it lacked the character I expected. I figured that Texans had such great pride for their state and that each city typically encapsulates some energy, but it felt so generic. It’s also safe to say that any location will have its desirable and non-desirable traits, but I felt unsafe walking through downtown Dallas; it turned me off. However, a positive thing about heading to Dallas is that I got to try some Texan BBQ at Terry Black’s BBQ. I highly suggest this for anyone coming to Dallas late into the evening who needs a quick but good bite! To keep in mind, it’s a cafeteria-style where you will go through a line, select what you want, pay, and find a table to eat. It was nice seeing the barbeque smokers as you entered the establishment too.

We left Dallas in the morning and didn’t leave Texas until past midnight! This only shows how enormous Texas is – though, we had to make a dinner stop in Amarillo before driving straight to the Sand Dunes National Park.

Great Sand Dunes National Park, Colorado 

IMG_2002Since learning about this stop, this was a major bucket list item for me! I always imagined that dunes, or large desert scenes, belonged in the Sahara or outside the U.S., so it was mostly to scratch my curiosity of being in a unique landscape. Unfortunately, we arrived super late, with no rangers, in sight, and the park gate was left open. Both of us figured that a machine provided parking passes when the rangers were not available, but we were wrong. We drove to the parking lot right before the dunes and saw its outline, but unsure if we could venture in at midnight. We sat there debating whether we should go or not, but with the possibility of getting into trouble and lack of flashlights, it was better to practice caution, so we left. Next thing you know, we drove through the night into Colorado!

Pagosa Springs, Colorado

Oh, Colorado was so beautiful to drive through in the middle of the night! The roads were clear, the mountainsides were dusted or covered in snow, and it was a full moon, so I saw everything around us. Our destination was a small town known for its hot springs, and you already know that we had to indulge a bit since driving taxed our bodies. The fun and painful story about getting to Pagosa was that we arrived at 3 AM but were only allowed to check-in at 9 AM – that’s right. We slept in the car while it was ten degrees outside. I had to use my sleeping bag and jackets to cover all the windows to insulate the vehicle, shared the blanket, and on top of that, woke up every thirty or so minutes to start the car’s heater.

Was it worth it, you asked? Absolutely. We checked in early, settled, and couldn’t wait to get the hot springs pool – mind you, this was both of our first times going to a hot spring. The pools cascaded down the hill, making terraced pools and at the bottom was the cold river where one could do a polar plunge. It was shock therapy, and it felt both painful and good. The pools also overlooked the cute and small downtown portion of Pagosa Springs. The hotel was okay, but the main element was the hot springs. Also, I couldn’t forget the kind lady who worked at the hotel’s cafe because she comped our lunch and breakfast. I was so grateful that she showed us kindness, and everything about my experience in Pagosa Springs will be a core memory of this road trip.

The small town of Pagosa Springs won my heart over, and I joked about stopping my trip here and making it my new home. Now, we were on our way to the Grand Canyons, but like driving at night, the day views of Colorado – I was in awe.

Grand Canyons, Arizona

I hope I’m not redundant to use awe again, but there’s no other word to describe this natural phenomenon. Just thinking about all the forces required to create this natural wonder is breathtaking, so much so that I was shaking at every lookout point. Okay, to be fair, it might’ve been my anxiousness kicking in since I was so high up, but still, the realization of how small my existence is in the whole scheme of life and Earth is crazy. We spent the entire afternoon and night there taking in the sunsets and looking at the stars! I thought it would only be a three-hour break, but we spent over eight hours there and still felt it wasn’t enough. I can’t wait to come back and hike the lower trails near the river! 

We saw a family of elks there too, which was cool and scary. An elk could easily ram my car and do severe damage, so at that moment, I was the deer in headlights. After that, our eyes were fixed to the road, in case another animal popped out! We struggled to make our way to southern California after using so much energy at the canyons. 

Southern California

Now, after all the copious amounts of caffeine and sleep deprivation, both of us took a gigantic nap in my new apartment before doing anything else! I had mixed emotions when I finally arrived because now all the hustle and bustle stopped, and I had to sit with my feelings about everything. We are never prepared for those moments, but I wanted to look on the bright side. I’m in a new environment with opportunities just waiting!

Oh my god, don’t even get me started on all the food and boba tea I’ve consumed already. Of course, I would always send pictures to my family to make them jealous, but the exciting part about arriving at the tail end of January was that Lunar New Year celebrations were right around the corner! Just in time too, when my best friend had to fly back home, my aunt flew to California to celebrate Lunar New Year and spoiled me with food. Now, I’m settling in my new home and taking one step at a time in this adventure!

Again, I’m not making any promises, but hopefully, I’ll share my experience going to my first Lunar New Year Festival in Costa Mesa next week! I’m signing off now, so stay tuned, and have a great week, readers!

California Dream + Panic #25

Dear readers,

I know it’s been a while since I last wrote, and I can easily blame it on being “busy,” but it was a lack of effort to keep up with these weekly blogs. I won’t make any promises, but at least I’m back with you all for another step into my life! The majority of you will not know that I’ve relocated to California all the way from Virginia – yes, coast to coast. Fun fact, I had a cross-country road trip with my best friend to get here, but I won’t spoil that just yet; stick around next week, and I’ll share my travel stories!

As you know, the mid-twenties portion of your life is full of unknowns! This is why I want to share how exciting and frightening it is to move across the country and be so far away from friends and family. We all often have a dream or romanticization of our lives when moving away from family and being independent, but what does it really mean? Well – a lot of uncomfortable and anxiety-ridden moments.

The Dream

Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for my education and family’s opportunity. My professional career has been growing in responsibilities so coming to the office in person allows me to advance and learn much quicker versus being remote! Besides, it’s only been two weeks in California, and I already know that I will love it. I’ve already gone to two beaches, a couple of restaurants, Disneyland, and my office, so it’s hard to believe how quickly things are already moving! Seeing all these new places along the way is something every immigrant parent wants for their children and more!

Disneyland Starwars!

Away From A Safe Zone

All throughout my life, I have been grateful and blessed to have most of my family members around. The most stressful and complicated portion was figuring out where to apply for college. Even during college, it wasn’t as complex because of the provided structure. Now? Oh, man. I thought moving was fun and exciting, but figuring out insurance, paperwork at the DMV, and whether I’m going to get fined for something I didn’t know all while moving is a lot!

My best friend was with me, but the emotional burden I placed on her was heavier than I thought. Since moving, I have felt another level of loneliness or separation, so much so that I cried every other day for the first week while being here. This was a separation from all things I felt safe and loved from, and for the second time in my life, I didn’t know what to do next. This wave crashed into me, and I wasn’t prepared. I know we are never fully prepared, but you really don’t think about the hurt until it’s there. Thankfully, my friends and family have emotionally supported me on this journey, and I can’t thank them enough.

A conversation I had with a dear friend led to this, “Of course, I’ll always be here. Just like how life changes, and we adapt, so do our bonds.” I verbally shared how much they mean to me, which surprised them because I usually don’t express my feelings. Now, I’m taking on 2022, letting the people around me know how important they are to me, even if I’m ugly crying while doing it!

Health

A question I ask myself is, will I stay in California long-term? The answer is no. I have a healthy relationship with money and strict budgeting, but the forecast doesn’t look bright if I remain here too long. Looking at things realistically, I want to plan for a family, but living in California is extremely expensive, making it almost impossible to save even with budgeting.

Beyond that, it takes a village to raise children. I want my children to have a strong relationship with my parents and a family network close by. There’s a unique bond between grandchildren and grandparents. My grandparents offered me a different type of compassion than when they raised my parents, which I’m sure made them envy me somehow. I know my children will learn more about my parents’ history than I ever will, and I want that for them that’s why I won’t remain in California long-term.

Apart from financial health, I’m tightening the reigns on my physical health! I worked out consistently before, but now I’m changing my workout regimen to focus on calisthenics or moving my body better.

Looking Forward

Ultimately, I give myself about two to three years in California before making my way back to the East Coast, but that’s dependent on my career or potential future partner. I’m giving myself a timeline and being flexible because of life. We don’t know what’s around the corner; a new opportunity or a personal discovery that changes everything to your plan. I pray my time here in California is well spent, and I create genuine bonds that will last me a lifetime! Well, that’s all I have for your today minhions; stick around next week where I’ll share about my road trip!

4 Things I Learned in NYC #24

Dear readers, 

I just returned from my short vacation from NYC with a few friends of mine, and though it was fantastic, I had some time away with reflections. Who knew a four-day trip would show me more insight into what’s going through my mind and dig up some deep scars. It was a swirl of thoughts and ultimately could be summary into four over-arching themes.

1. Butterfly Mood

I learned that my best friend coined a term for me when I’m in adventure mode! And it’s pretty fitting for me since I zone out, quiet down, and just take in the environment around me, but at times, I feel like it’s a double-edged sword. Whether with friends or strangers, I’m just so content with being in a new environment that I don’t create or engage in many conversations that I might end up boring people. I think this fear of boring people stems from not knowing what to say or do because I’ve slowly turned into a workaholic. There’s always some type of responsibility from night to morning, and it doesn’t help that most of my friends live far from me to drag me away. A good reason behind my “butterfly mood” stems from being overworked and over-relied on, so much so that a huge weight is taken off my shoulders when I can step away! Does anyone feel like this, too, at times?

2. A Pool of Strangers

No doubt that when you are in a city with 8.4 million people, you’ll definitely feel tiny and insignificant in the grand scheme of things. Spats of indifference and annoyance were with me the entire time, walking through endless blocks of the city. Fortunately, I was accompanied by friends, but it placed into perspective how much I’m scared about leaving my hometown, family, friends and jumping ship into a pool of strangers. It was always a happy sentiment moving away and starting fresh. Still, these moments of hesitation really catch deep into my personal fears that I never thought about too much.

3. Where Can I See Myself

It’s safe to assume at one point or another, the majority of people residing in the U.S. dreamt of living in NYC, The Big Apple, if you will.

It’s safe to assume at one point or another, the majority of people residing in the U.S. dreamt of living in NYC, The Big Apple, if you will. When I left my undergraduate studies, I could see myself living in NYC! The city that never sleeps, a new adventure around the corner, and endless wandering through the streets with music in my ears. A friend of mine shared that the more he explores the U.S., the more he realizes that he doesn’t want to live in his current location, which popped the question in my head. Where should I be? Although I already know the answer for the next couple of years, after that, then what? I have no idea what I want to be or who I want to become; I just know a lot is waiting for me to discover. I see friends moving away and moving on with a determination to live, yet I stand here wondering what that is for me. I want to live in a home surrounded by friends and family, to know what it’s like to live without the fear of loss or detachment. We all leave, but I don’t know where to go if I’m by myself. It’s ironic – mentally, I know that life goes forward, and time takes us away to different parts. Still, emotionally, I’m scared to land in an endless pit of loneliness when the day ends. . . now more than ever.

4. Child-like Love Versus Reality

It’s no surprise to my friends that I’m a big romantic, and it came out when I visited the Bethesda Fountain in Central Park. Iconic for countless romantic scenes in movies where someone confesses their love or where it ends. My friends and I were strolling through the entirety of Central Park and kept seeing scenes from movies that I couldn’t recall but felt. It’s bittersweet when you realize these romantic notions showcased in films aren’t the realities of life. The older I become, the more aware I am of what it takes to maintain a strong personal connection and registering what is possible. If you ask a child, they have a simple answer. If you ask an adult, you get a string of reasons or excuses one after another. I’m starting to learn that having the biggest heart and sharing it with people leaves it defenseless. I recognized, too, that I want something lasting rather than a short-term gratification because trusting and allowing an individual is hard, painful, and scary. So when you have someone like me, who has trust issues and yearns for a connection, well, that’s enough said from me.

I’m curious; Do You Favor Friendships over Relationships? 

People swore I should watch When Harry Met Sally, and though parts of it left me screaming at second-hand embarrassment. It’s an excellent film to depict that sometimes friendships are more important than being in a relationship. If the road crosses, then it’ll work out with some good communication and patience. Who knows what’s in store for you and me? 

Thank you for taking the time to read what I learned about myself in NYC. I hope that whatever message you took from this blog helps you or makes you feel like others are in this position, too. Trust me, I’m always this go-happy lucky guy to everyone in my life, but this is my safe zone for those who connect with me. 

Who Do You Go To for Wise Advice? #23

Dear readers,

Have you ever been asked who’s your mentor or who do you go to for guidance, and you are stuck? I have, and I’m constantly rattling my brain to figure out who it is. My answer? Everyone and no one. The most obvious choice for some would be their parents. Still, with the language barrier and lack of Asian-American cultural understanding, my parents aren’t the ideal choice to freely voice my concerns. My go-to’s were those around who could understand the dilemma and provide a different perspective to understand the totality of the question. The main advice-givers were my friends’ parents since most of my questions were always about goals, hopes, and wants, all of which my parents could understand but were not able to voice in a way that my younger self could understand and appreciate.

Sadly, to this day, I can’t think of a single individual that I could consider a mentor or define as a mentor, not from the lack of knowledge, but rather who I see as a continual teacher. I can’t come to a resolution of what a true mentor is to me. Am I the only one with this problem?

What Does A Mentor Look Like To You?

To be honest, I go to everyone for advice without having too many biases clouding my thoughts. Going to everyone could be a hit or miss, if you know what I mean. There are moments when all you want to hear is someone agreeing with your mindset, but sometimes people who offer advice against you can be so aggravating – however, necessary. Ironically, I was writing an article for ArchiHacks, How Do You Know When to Leave a Firm, where I shared that a sign to leave an architecture firm is a lack of mentorship or advocacy. These two are different but similar, and I won’t repeat what I said there. However, it was a good moment to think, “Am I just preaching to the choir,” and a hypocrite if I’m sharing advice to designers about searching for mentorship when I can’t visualize or pinpoint a mentor myself? I believed so to some degree, but I realized that others could have an easier time identifying a mentor than me. 

So, Do You Picture Anyone when I Ask If You Go To Anyone For Advice?

What’s the best thing about being an Adult? #22

Dear readers,

I honestly wonder what the best thing about being an adult is; as a kid, I dreamed about being a singer and all these wonderful, imaginative things I could be. Even now, I look at life with an optimistic and romanticized view of adulthood compared to the majority that sees adulthood as the end. Why is that? Is it because we work every day in fear that our lives will sum to nothing? Everyone has their opinions, but as I said before, adulthood is a rollercoaster of clarity and obscurity. I’m only in my twenties, and I have no idea about my purpose, not sure about my goals, and honestly just winging it until the universes tell me otherwise.

can be generic here and say that money is the best thing about being an adult, and don’t get me wrong, I love having money, but it isn’t the best. It can help facilitate the things I find enjoyable or lead me to actions that can cause happiness. However, the best thing about being an adult is the appreciation of the mundane

Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels.com

It’s precisely what I mean. We go about our days filling our days with friends, structure, laughter, and enjoyment. No one will know what happens in the next two years, so when will it be enough if we always seek the next best thing? I don’t think this underlying thought is not our fault at all! Greed, jealousy, and pride are all within our nature, and with the way the world is, money and career drive our adult life to achieve those things. This never-ending cycle brings adults to their knees and makes being one a living hell hole.

A repeating mantra that I’ve heard recently is, “I get to…”

I get to serve my family, I get to love my friends, I get to work, I get to eat, and for someone as blessed as I am, this mantra roots me in gratefulness. The best thing about being an adult is not about the money, it’s the bittersweet understanding that time is finite, and we need to squeeze in whatever fills our hearts to content. If you had asked me a few years back, I would’ve given a completely different answer with entirely different priorities. If you ask me this in the next few years, I’m sure it will change again, but I can assure you that I’ll still be grateful to be still breathing.

The beautiful crisp breath of air when you wake up in the middle of fall will always be one of my peaceful moments. The cool touch of your sheets while the warm sun kisses your back to get you out of your bed. My days cycle into an endless routine, but it’s so peaceful when I stop and find myself in these moments.

I mean, I get to be me in this chaotic world of good things and bad things, which isn’t so bad, right?

I’m signing off now, so until next time, what do you think is the best part of being an adult for you!

Insanity. Blog Post #20

Dear readers, I’m sorry that I’ve been absent from writing these blog posts because of my not-so-new career and the copious amounts of writing I do for ArchiHacks. Though it’s not my intention to gain some recognition through writing, I felt it was necessary to apologize on behalf of those who have followed me from the beginning. When I began writing, I promised myself that I would post regularly, but it doesn’t always work out as one can understand. Writing was an outlet, then it became a job, and now I find myself missing the tranquil silence when all I did was reflect and appreciate my thoughts. Today, I’m back to continue writing these blogs, sharing my opinion, and improve my writing. I’m sure my number for the blog is incorrect, but we will be starting at #20!

You may be curious why I titled today’s blog “Insanity.” It’s a pretty straightforward, intriguing, and cliched topic that everyone may have heard here or there – what constitutes an individual as insane? As children, we easily differentiate between what we perceive as usual or weird, but lines blur, and definitions are loose as adults. Simply put, we are all insane; insanity is classified as being either mentally ill or irrational. Yet, insanity can be a socially driven concept in which what we perceive as our standard is the datum when comparing the lives of others. I would like to note that I’m coming from the perspective of insanity of those who tirelessly chase after a vision they embedded in their minds. 

Now that was an excellent motivational video about insanity! Recently, I’ve been consuming a lot of Youtube content about the era of modern men and what needs to happen to properly set men in a position to be the protector and provide for his family. Now before you jump to conclusions, I’m not insinuating any detrimental ideologies or remarks regarding male rights activism, feminism, gender roles, etc. I’m only sharing to provide the context in my disorganized mass of gray matter which you are consuming through these words. However, I ask, and I’m curious about the state of insanity because I find my actions quite irrational to my surroundings. From sun-up to sun-down, I’m booked with work, side hustles, or obligations that must be tended to all while sitting in one confined space with my beloved dog, leaving me with only a few hours in my day to produce results. With only a few hours, this guarantees me enough time to sleep, eat, and go to the gym three times/week! Wouldn’t this make you go crazy? Day-in and day-out – one location, and that is all?

Disclaimer: To all my gym-goers, gym enthusiasts, or, if you will, gym rats, you can still achieve healthy muscular gains and improve health with three days of going to the gym!  

So when I think of insanity or irrational behavior, I aspire to those who train their minds or body to the degree that differentiates them from the population. Think Lebron James or Elon Musk, an obviously stark difference between the two and powerhouses in their respective fields. I actually don’t want to reach their level, but I wonder where my work ethic, countless hours of writing, and go-lucky persona will take me?

Aren’t you curious yourself?

On some level, I know what I’m doing is highly unsustainable and leaves a trail of anxiety about what could be done or questioning whether I’m wasting my time. On the other hand, I’m jealous of those who “seemingly” easily reach these levels, especially those in my circle. Yet, I can also assume the amount of dedication and wherewithal for one to reach those places. Sadly, the path I’m on can be pretty lonely too, and I miss out on many friend activities. I want to be selfish and enjoy myself a little more – I think the majority at my age would instead let loose and live, yet I can’t fully appreciate the sweetness of what life has to offer when I’m thinking about my future family. I’m a long way off from a family, but I don’t want to come to a point where I’m physically and emotionally ready, but not financially. People sometimes need to reflect on why they want children and if it’s for selfish reasons. You and your partner are bringing in new life, and the child shouldn’t have to suffer at the hands of poor planning. This is besides the point, but I’m wrapping up my thoughts for today! I hope you enjoyed it, and stick around by subscribing to my blog!

The last thing I’d like to mention is my Youtube page! If you enjoy my thoughts through writing, why not subscribe to my channel where I collaborate with my dear friend OJ. We explore dating, personal lives, funny things, react to videos, and many other topics between two adults in their twenties and beyond!

Cancel Culture!

Hi Minhions, I know it’s been a while since I last wrote a blog! Unfortunately, I’ve been so busy with all my responsibilities with my career and family that I couldn’t write. Nonetheless, I’m back with another blog filled with my thoughts and a rant in a sense. Let’s talk about the world and cancel culture!

You’ve probably have heard about cancel culture, but let’s first define it anyways! According to Merriam Webster, cancel culture is the practice or tendency of engaging in mass canceling to express disapproval and exert social pressure. I understand that I shouldn’t use the word to define something I’m discussing, but that’s beside the point.

Now, I believe there are levels to cancel culture I can agree with and disagree. Globalization has increased our connectivity and shined a light on the terrible actions of many that should be held accountable. Important figures within our society that seemed untouchable, at first, are finally pitted against reality when their despicable acts are pulled and plastered for the world to see, like Bill Cosby or Jeffery Epstein. In these scenarios, a cancel culture should be welcomed to hold these figures accountable.

However, I have a problem with how many have weaponized and perverted this social phenomenon in an attempt to bring others down. There have been multiple cases of problematic cancel culture that people have taken out of context and place, while the “world” demands an apology. In 2019, Kevin Hart’s offer to host the Academy Awards was rescinded because of a tweet from 2011 reading, “Yo if my son comes home & try’s 2 play with my daughters doll house I’m going 2 break it over his head & say n my voice ‘stop that’s gay.'” This is a prime example of something being taken out of context, weaponized, and exerting societal pressure for Kevin to apologize or have his livelihood be taken away. This is only one of the thousands of instances where people have abused this power. I don’t condone this type of speech, but we have to be aware that from 2011 to 2019, Hart could’ve developed and accepted this way of life. I have been feeling strongly about this topic recently and, coincidentally, my best friend and I had a discussion about this. What led to this conversation was about Jesus and specific attributes of the Holy Bible that didn’t align with our thoughts. I’d like to note that I have studied the Bible concurrently with my own faith. However, I can only speak through my experiences and share my perspective, which I hold closely. 

In short, the discourse between us followed, “Can’t people change? What once was won’t dictate the future.” It is very optimistic of us, but the issue remains why and how can a global social power feel justified to judge so harshly that it will cost an individual’s life? One can say I’m dramatic, but am I really? Young adults like myself or children are at the mercy of the world, and it doesn’t take much either, like the Salem Witch Trials, where individuals are persecuted quickly without given second glances. This is a detrimental social phenomenon that I’m afraid won’t end soon and exacerbates society’s mental duress. 

The most recognizable and modern case of this culture falls to Monica Lewinsky. Of course, we can discuss other problematic things about the 1995 sex scandal, but having her name and face humiliated all across the world was the tip of the iceberg. After her single mistake, Monica Lewinsky’s life was flipped upside down, so much so that she became an activist against this destructive social warfare. After the release of Lewinsky’s documentary, 15 minutes of Shame, she has been touring across universities, sharing about the bullying and dangers of “cancel culture.”

How frightening to imagine in a moment of immaturity and short-thought, with no intention to harm, an individual’s actions could be used against them and affect their livelihood.

A positive example, in recent news, of “cancel culture,” Dr. Seuss’s estate was a self-induced canceling. If you haven’t heard of this issue, Dr. Seuss’ estate recalled a few of its books because of racist rhetoric and didn’t want it to stay in circulation. As a result, the estate’s own recognition made a pre-emptive action to better a future world that most of the younger generation accepted. Yet, there are those inciting that it’s toxic cancel culture. I’m sorry, but this isn’t cancel culture. It’s progression—nothing more and nothing less.

There is a time and place for this, but we have perverted and cultivated an environment of fear, outright righteousness, and public execution without considering the human behind it. It goes back to an optimistic and theological question of morality and one’s motivation to change. Who knows, this blog may come back to bite me in the future. . .

I’m Burning . . .

I’ve been feeling aloof as the days begin to blend into what seems like a never-ending process of toxic refinement. I start my days with morning news and a two-hour ritual of eating, breathing, listening, watching, and caring for my dog. After those two hours, I begin to deep-dive into this state of extreme focus, applying to jobs, sending emails, and working on the next thing off my list. And you know what? I’m afraid that I’m burning too much at once.

Among my crazy routine, I’ve been finding solace in my bed, doing nothing besides placing my head next to my dog and breathing. In the fleeting morning moment when I put my head next to my dog while the cool blankets shimmy against my skin – I am content. The abundance of joy I get by annoying my dog is unnatural, to say the least. However, before watching the video below, I wasn’t sure whether I would write my blog or not. I’m learning so many things at an incredible rate, but I still feel emotionally lacking something? The video below shares a dialogue between two of my favorite artists, Alicia Keys and Shawn Mendes.

In the video, they share their thoughts on love, anxiety, inspiration, amongst other topics. The wisdom and vulnerability you can sense in their demeanor is something I hope to achieve! In today’s world, we are given a skewed and romanticized definition of a perfectionist, which Shawn Mendes eloquently said. Another element of why I believe I’m burning is this nagging feeling that everything I do, I have to be the fastest, wealthiest, smartest, or any other -est word that places an extreme objective to be at the very top – in other words, perfect. Take notice in the video when Shawn discussed his disposition arriving at the upper echelon of his industry.

Many factors bring out this nagging feeling that inextricably binds all of us, including me: jealousy, social media, and globalization. The rapid globalization of technology and social media has given us a new world of possibilities with underlying detrimental behavior or emotions. Again, I’m no expert. These are my opinions that I share through writing, and you may disagree with what I say. However, I am attempting to say that the underlying emotion that rapid globalization weaponizes is jealousy – a natural human instinct. I think it’s safe to assume that we all have some level of jealously, even if it occurs without even realizing it.

Being jealous has always been negative, but I think somewhere along the lines, it became internalized that people should feel shameful for being jealous. However, people quickly forget that it’s such a fundamental human quality known as one of the seven deadly sins – envy. I’m not saying being jealous is a positive thing either. Still, I’m attempting to demonstrate that the unnatural longing to be “perfect” or the best was created through seemingly innocent elements slowly affecting our unconscious state. Jealousy or envy is an emotion that we, as humans, should understand but shouldn’t be used as fuel for an “unjust” action, so to speak.

I want to be burning with passion rather than letting this unnatural social shift snuff out my soul before my physical body follows.

Today, I hope you enjoy the ramblings of my inner thoughts on the matter and my creative burn-out. And tomorrow will be another day for the sun to rise, and so shall I.